22 February, 2006

Target practice

Donutball offers a sticky fingered hand of commiseration to the British Scottish men's curling team after their heart breaking last stone loss to Finland in this evening's semi-final. Just bronze to aim for as an encouraging start to the Olympic tournament was a false dawn.

Scotland's heroic defeat offers this blog an opportunity to raise a burning issue about Olympic sports.

Winter sports? Well, why not include true winter sports - darts, snooker and shov' ha'penny. OK, this is not an original thought though as I recall the "debate" over darts centred on the 2012 summer games and the inclusion of one traditional British sport.

Then again, everyone knows Britain England invented all decent sports. Those that we didn't invent are either crap - e.g. basketball - or poor derivatives of the original - e.g. Aussie rules and baseball. (I'll make an exception for Kabbadi -though not entirely original - and possibly Naadam though that looks suspiciously like a midsummer English fete without the doilies.)

The Olympics already includes dull target sports - archery, shooting (though it takes little imagination to liven up this sport) and curling. What's wrong with a few more.

Who could argue with darts? It's a true family entertainment. Darts are a bit like javelins anyway. And, all that number crunching in the head, that's truly Olympian.

Snooker has all the subtlety of curling and, in the true Olympic spirit, years of drug abuse.

Shov' Ha'penny: Olympic sport? I offer you...

- Sailing: Olympic sport.
- Horse jumping thing: Olympic sport.
- Blazer wearing: Olympic sport.
- Synchronised diving... well...

I rest my case.

With Phil "The Power", "Rocket" Ronnie and, er, some geezer in a Fair Isle jumper who's the pub games equivalent to David Beckham, Britain England would storm to many a gold reversing years of sporting injustice. Johnny Foreigner would once again be left in our wake where he belongs. Pints of mild would be quaffed in celebration. St George would billow in the wind. It would be the 1950s again. Civil engineered brassieres would heave under cashmere sweaters. God Save the Queen!

4 Comments:

Blogger D said...

Well now, it's les rosbifs against the plucky yanks for the bronze. Ha ha I say. Yes, you can't push this over to your Scottish kingdom fellow, those uniforms say Great Britian, and victory over the queen it shall be, including the tea drinkers, haggis eaters, and the unpronounceables from Wales. Vamos Pete Fenson! Vamos!

23 February, 2006 15:14  
Blogger Nate said...

I enjoy Pete the most when he rambles on Anglo-centrically. To be a true contest though, Olympic darts participants would have to be required to compete blind, stinking smashed.

And come to think of it, since they already have horsey sports, why not bring back jousting?

24 February, 2006 03:09  
Blogger D said...

I don't even know what Shov Ha'penny is.

24 February, 2006 21:11  
Blogger Dart Talk said...

I'm always glad to see blog post about darts!

Let's all do our part to support "World Series of Darts"

"Do YOUR part – PROMOTE the World Series of Darts!"

Thread link

Dart_talker --------------------------------
My Blog http://darttalk.blogspot.com/
The League http://vcda.org/
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25 February, 2006 22:56  

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